Getting to Goa is easy, but getting out is another story.

So I arrived in Goa last Saturday, or was it the Saturday before that, or the one before that. It seems like I have been here for years or at least forever.
The journey from Kalhapur was horrific, one part of the road was so unroad that it took me 4 hours to cover 40kms and in fact I didnt stop or get off the bike for five bloody hours! And the dust and the huge trucks aimed directly at little me! But they all love seeing a mad white guy on a motorcycle in the middle of nowhere and try their best not to hit me! Sorry about all the exclamation marks (!) but everything causes me to exclaim!
And trhen as the song says "The bear came over the mountain" and there were waves of bright green mountains floating away into the distance and scattered clouds scattered lightly and birds singing and I was in Goa and it was a different India, like Israel before 1967. So I toddled off to find my cousin Ariel and Tali You see, I do have a cousin everywhere! And when I found him they welcomed me and I spent the night there and most important, I had a shower there.
The next day I set off to find Arambol and I did and now I am stuck. And the fucking place is not even marked on the map!!! I was going along this green winding jungle road and suddenly I was in Arambol and it was like all the othe villages I'd been through on my way here but this one did look different, well there were lots of white faces for one thing. So anyway I met a girl and she needed petrol but wasnt sure how to ride the moped and asked me, in English to go with her to the petrol station which I did but they didnt have any petrol, I told you this is all about India. At that she spat out a Kus Emak so we continued in Hebrew and she showed me the center af town where I was kidnapped by an enterprising young Indian gentleman who showed me a great room where I have happily settled in. That evening my upstairs Israeli neighbours introduced me to the joys of "Garras" and I am totally happy and content.
This is Homers" Land of the Lotus Eaters from The Odyssy" - for those who dont know what I am talking about read the Odyssy or ask me. Any way in the Land of the Lotus Eaters, if you eat of the lotus flower you lose all desire to ever move again and this is what happens here, in the little town of Arambol. You take a hit or a puff and you are lost, you become an Archi-Satlan, a high priest of garrras, a rabbi of bongs. And you never want to leave.
Of course there are many important decisions to be made each day. First of course is do we have enough garras, then where do we eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and what do we eat and whose going to be there and...Take another hit..and just one more before we leave ..and one more!!
And I love the cows. Its not like the big city where you see a cow here or there, here they share the roads and narrow lanes wiyh you and sometimes walk into the restaurant where you are just starting your steak. They fight in the streets and send the basta (stall) owners into hysterics and they poke the bulls with sticks to chase them away from their basta. And they crap all over and they stink up everything and I love them. In Denver I visited a mall that had a display of cow statues but these are the real macoy, not painted.
Anyway, under the circumstances it has not been easy actually sitting down and writing this thing but this is all I could manage (need another hit!) . I will eventually escape from here but if you dont hear from me for a couple of weeks, dont worry, just take another toke or hit or whatever.

Pensive Moment

Hi guys, here i am safely esconced in Arambol, nothern Goa and except for the "barchashim" this is what I imagine paradise lost was like. blue skies, blus seas, white sands, beachside cafes and restaurants, beautiful people and cheap. Not to even mention the "jarash".
I have lost several kilos and now no longer look like ganesh the elephant god, I still have a paunch and love handles (oops, no love at the moment so I will call them "spare tyres"). I think I told you that I have hardly been eating and I feel great, even my right shoulder which has been giving me terrible pauin for the last 15 months has eased up and much more usable.
Also I walk a helluva lot, I try to avoid riding the bike in the big cities, too scary.
There was just a commotion in the street, two bulls were fighting and everyone was hystereical with woryy that they would knock there stall over! great excitement and I took several photos. I love all the cows in the streets, I have even seen them walk into retaurants. Yhats a little slice of India.

Arie at the Ashram

Well I couldnt come to India and not do the Ashram scene, could I? I had to look for enlightenment somewhere, right? it is not enough to know myself, I had to meditate, right?
So I arrived in Pune and after a bit of regular touristing, I decided to head for the Rolls-Royce of Ashrams (and it is fitting that I should call it the Rolls-Royce of Ashrams since when he was kicked out of the US old Osho had either 19 or 90 of those rather expensive motor cars).
So off I went to the Osho Meditation Center, paid my penny, did my AIDS test, bought my robes and went in to meditate. the center is magnificent, beautiful gardens, beautiful buildings (all black), swimming pool, retaurants, an auditorium to die for, meditation halls, shady plazas, the works. All around you see calm people dressed in purple robes (yes, me too!) walking slowly or quickly but all with a sense of calm and peace about them. Its like being in Club Med - in fact like Club Med you dont use money, you use coupons.
The place is full of people from all over the world, of course Israelis, but Russians, Rumanians, Norwegians, Brits, Australians, many Italians and Germans, lots of Indians and who knows what else.
With a group of others I was taken off for an introductory session where we did loud meditations, then I went off for a silent meditation followed by meditation with drums and others which I caanot describe. I have to tell you all that I am lousy at meditating, my mind seems to wander all over the planet and I cannot empty it. I tried a" breathe in - breathe out" sort of mantra (shades of the blonde haircut joke) but even that didnt work. I guess I am not cut out for that, or maybe, just maybe I am relaxed enough to know my place in life and not worry too much. Of course I do have a problem or two with the meaning of life but dont we all, nothing that a shrink or a chillum cant fix.
The evening sessions were amazing, at about 6:30 in the evening everybody would appear at the main auditorium, showered and dressed now in white robes and to see a couple of hundred white-robed figures climbing the steps in the dark under muted light was quite impressive - even I was moved. We all found a place to park, most of the people had little chairs or rugs and for 15 minutes everyone danced to wild(ish) music, last night ironically enough, it was Hassidic music - the Lubavicher must be turning over in his grave! Then Osho himself would come onscreen and begin his talk (actually he died a few years ago and what we got was a recording but nobody seemed to mind). I enjoyed the talks, he was smart, knowledgable on many religious, social, scientific and philosophical matters and cerainly new how to hold his audience. he was by turns serious, sarcastic and humourous and the speeches alwas end with a dirty joke or two. And the audience is riveted to the spot, you are not allowed to cough or sneeze and when people did they were quietly escorted out. For myself, I was more worried about farting but fortunately I have a strong spincter!
After the daily lecture it is fun time with parties, variety shows or chillouts by the pool. But what can I say? I just didnt connect. I am a sceptic and cynic of the first order. I have a problem with people who ask me to forgo the material world and end up owning 19 (or maybe 90) luxury cars.
I am now in Goa - wait for more!!

Me and my bike: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Riding (in India)

Well as I told you in my last my bike was delivered but as it was late afternoon and traffic was heavy I decided not to try and ride it until the early morning when there was less risk of my crashing it even before i had started my travels.
I woke up on time, 5am, went down and my bike was still there. Yay, after battling with the kick-starter I finally managed to get it started and took a couple of spins around the block. Easier said than done as the Royal Enfield is based on a 1950s British bike and for me its all ass-backwards, the gears are on the right and the clutch is on the left, the gears are 1 up and 3 down instead of the other way round and it takes some getting used too. But I managed without falling off, loaded my bags on the bike took a last look at the map (and what I hoped would be a last look at my hotel) and set off to find my way out of Mumbai, a huge city of 16 million people speading for miles in every direction.
I dont know if I found the way out or the way out found me, after all, this is India so I guess it is a Zen thing and 25 kms and 1 hour later there was no city aroud me and I saw a sign "To Pune" and I was truly on my way. Outside the city I was still surrounded by vehicles of every description but no buildings, few slums and very little garbage. As I continued the countryside turned green and the city was left behind.
After driving for about 30 mins on a beautiful (relatively) highway I pulled up at a tool booth to be informed that 2 wheelers were not allowed on it. I was even told that I would have to pay a penelty but after a short consultation I was forgiven but told to leave the expressway, which i did.
When I got off I saw 2 roads, 1 paved and 1 unpaved. Of course I chose the paved road - BIG mistake. 20 minutes later after negotiating sheep, goats, oxen, donkeys and cows I was in the middle of nowhere. I stopped at a tiny cafe in a tiny village and asked the tiny owner if he had a large coke, he did. as I sat there people gathered round to see the westerner on an Enfield. I took some pictures and the kids there loved it and kept asking me to take more, I did, and when I showed them on my digital how they looked they were thrilled. That seems to happen with kids everywhere I go.
So back I went 15 or so kms, again passing all the anomals until I reached the unpaved road and took it (again a Zen thing) and believe it or not it took me all the way to Pune, on the way I again passed a largw collection of domestic animals, which I have already described and in addition I met an elephant coming the other way, I swear! Also a caravan of camels going in my direction. Amost interesting ride, what can I say.
On the outskirts of Pune, while stopped at a traffic light my engine stopped - low revs - no biggie, and as I was already stopped I decided to have a smoke and a short rest. As I was standing there a guy came up to me and asked if I needed help, I told him I was having trouble with the revs and he offered to fix it, which he did. Then he said that he wanted to take it for a drive to check it, he looked at my face (you can imagine) and asked me if I was worried and I said what the hell, take it. Off he went, the wrong way into crazy traffic and I sort of waved goodbye to my "junk". But 10 minutes later, or was it 10 years? he was back, gave me instructions how to get where I was going and refused payment. Zen again.Tired but exausted I finally found my hotel and settled in.
Driving in India can only be a Zen thing, people ride where they want, how they want and when they want. There seems to be no rhyme or rythm and red lights are of course only a reccomendation. There is however a pecking order: busses are top of the hill because they are biggest, then come trucks (unless it is a huge truck then it comes before the busses), then come pickups followed by cars, autirickshaws and then motorcycles though because they are quicker than autorickshaws can sometimes out rank them. At the bottom of the heap are bicycles and then, only then, pedestrians - you dont want to be one of them!
Thus ends the lesson for today. Wait for the further adventures of Arie in Pune.

Have Bike -- Will Travel

Thats it, my Royal Enfield 350 has been deliverd and if it is still there in the morning and if I can kick-start it and if I can find my way out of Mumbai I will be headig south early tomorrow morning in search of adventure.
Well hotmail wouldnt let me send this when I wanted to and now it is 48 hours later and I found my way out of Mumbai, or maybe the way out found me. And after a very interesting ride I am now in Pune where there is not nearly as much crowding (Well as much but not right on top of me) and I feel very comfortable and relaxed.
More will eventually follow.
Guys, Please tell me if and when the postcards I sent arrive, I have sent 2 to each of you so far but this is India and I have been warned that sometimes they take the stamps off and throw the cards away. For 8 ruphees with 10 ruphees to the shekel - but there are many poor people here I have been given to understand.

Mr. Bollywood

So three days ago the hotel clerk asked me if I want to be in a Bollywood movie and of course I agreed, maybe i would be discovered, right?
The next morning I was up bright and early and climbed aboard a rickety old bus with about 50 other travellers of all ages and descriptions and we trundeled through the streets of Mumbai for about an hour till we reached what was the newest and cleanest building I have seen in the city. (Most of the city looks as if it hasnt been cleaned or painted in at least 50 years, even the brand new buildings look run down).
We were herded off the bus and taken up some stairs and stuck in a large room where nothing happened for the next couple of hours - it wasnt too bad, we chatted, swapped stories and of course compared prices - very amusing and informative.
Then a wardrobe mistress appeared (easily the hardest working person of the entire adventure) and handed out medical staff type uniforms to about half the people. Then a couple more hours of hanging around. I never found out why they were dressed as medics and none of them knew either. I'm not even sure they were used for a shot. By that time it was about 1 oclock and we were all marched of to the commisary (canteen) for quite a decent Indian lunch (Yes! I do eat some Indian food!) I kept hoping the cast of Blazing Saddles would come roaring through but that didnt happen.
We sat around for a couple more ours and then my big chance came! While some of the girls were dressed in what the Indian audience imagine western women wear with hair done in a way they imagine western women do there hair (there was some resemlance but I dont believe any of the girls would be caught dead looking like that!) the guys were dressed in "standard" western clothes. I was given slacks that were too short and a shirt that was too short and they couldnt find shoes to fit me - naturally when filming started I was pushed to the back. My big moment in cinema lasted about 2 seconds as part of the crowd in a museum. I was not singled out, I was not discovered, I was not given a big fat 5 year contract in Bollywood! I was not even in the really big scene with an actual Indian film star with fireworks and baloons and champagne. Oh the frustration.
We had to hang around till 12 that night, fortunately at about 7:30 they handed out beers which calmed most of the people down (if you remeber I dont drink beer) but by 12:00 we had all had enough and some of the kids started a mini riot and strike so the bus was brought around again and as we climbed aboard we were each handed 5 crisp new 100 ruphee notes, fair pay for a fair days work. I dont believe I'll make a career of it, I dont think it would give me a living.
But it was without a doubt my best day in Mumbai, far from the maddening crowd, in a pleasant parklike area with shade and grass and benches and of course very few people. We could sit in the shade, doze, chat, read and relax. And even if I did not achieve stardom it was a fun experience.
But I dont think I'll do it again in this lifetime.

Mumbai Arrival

Well for all of you who care here I am in Mumbai (Bombay for those who remember the Raj. For some reason Israelis tend to avoid this like the plague and for the life of me I cannot understand why. True, I have only been here for about 6 hours and I have only walked around this one particular area for 4 hours but already I like it. Of course since I am going to spend a few days here - it takes at least a week to buy and register a motorcycle - and I only start that tomorrow, I will have plenty o time to wander around and see the sights, and according to my guidebook there is plenty to see.

The flight was easy, the plane was half empty, or half full, you decide and everyone had plenty of room to spread out. I only had carry on luggage so my lie was that much easier. Of course I stocked up at the duty free and have now discovered that I can get my smokes for less than half of what I paid. Fuck it, I love buying in general and at the duty free in particular.

I am not sure where exactly I am headed after this, probably south and east. Lets see where the wind and the roads take me.

As I got out of the plane I was struck full in the face (actuallu full in the nose) by the smell but now I am aclimatised and I dont notice anything unpleasant, just something exotic. O course on the road in from the airport you see what poverty means as all along the road there are a variety of hovels and in the city there are large numbers of beggars but it is far better than I expected - of course tomorrow in daylight I may see that it is actually as bad as I expected. Hopefully not.

To all those who I saw and played with while I was in Israel, thanks! And to those I didnt see, Shit, I'm sorry, I'll see you when I get back.

Be well, work hard and think o me suering out here.