Arie at the Ashram

Well I couldnt come to India and not do the Ashram scene, could I? I had to look for enlightenment somewhere, right? it is not enough to know myself, I had to meditate, right?
So I arrived in Pune and after a bit of regular touristing, I decided to head for the Rolls-Royce of Ashrams (and it is fitting that I should call it the Rolls-Royce of Ashrams since when he was kicked out of the US old Osho had either 19 or 90 of those rather expensive motor cars).
So off I went to the Osho Meditation Center, paid my penny, did my AIDS test, bought my robes and went in to meditate. the center is magnificent, beautiful gardens, beautiful buildings (all black), swimming pool, retaurants, an auditorium to die for, meditation halls, shady plazas, the works. All around you see calm people dressed in purple robes (yes, me too!) walking slowly or quickly but all with a sense of calm and peace about them. Its like being in Club Med - in fact like Club Med you dont use money, you use coupons.
The place is full of people from all over the world, of course Israelis, but Russians, Rumanians, Norwegians, Brits, Australians, many Italians and Germans, lots of Indians and who knows what else.
With a group of others I was taken off for an introductory session where we did loud meditations, then I went off for a silent meditation followed by meditation with drums and others which I caanot describe. I have to tell you all that I am lousy at meditating, my mind seems to wander all over the planet and I cannot empty it. I tried a" breathe in - breathe out" sort of mantra (shades of the blonde haircut joke) but even that didnt work. I guess I am not cut out for that, or maybe, just maybe I am relaxed enough to know my place in life and not worry too much. Of course I do have a problem or two with the meaning of life but dont we all, nothing that a shrink or a chillum cant fix.
The evening sessions were amazing, at about 6:30 in the evening everybody would appear at the main auditorium, showered and dressed now in white robes and to see a couple of hundred white-robed figures climbing the steps in the dark under muted light was quite impressive - even I was moved. We all found a place to park, most of the people had little chairs or rugs and for 15 minutes everyone danced to wild(ish) music, last night ironically enough, it was Hassidic music - the Lubavicher must be turning over in his grave! Then Osho himself would come onscreen and begin his talk (actually he died a few years ago and what we got was a recording but nobody seemed to mind). I enjoyed the talks, he was smart, knowledgable on many religious, social, scientific and philosophical matters and cerainly new how to hold his audience. he was by turns serious, sarcastic and humourous and the speeches alwas end with a dirty joke or two. And the audience is riveted to the spot, you are not allowed to cough or sneeze and when people did they were quietly escorted out. For myself, I was more worried about farting but fortunately I have a strong spincter!
After the daily lecture it is fun time with parties, variety shows or chillouts by the pool. But what can I say? I just didnt connect. I am a sceptic and cynic of the first order. I have a problem with people who ask me to forgo the material world and end up owning 19 (or maybe 90) luxury cars.
I am now in Goa - wait for more!!